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absence

last 2 days was supposedly ayah's 58th birthday :(
it'd been 5 years since we wish you happy birthday..but to make it through that day was still as painful as ever..i avoided thinking about it but it kept coming..nasib baik kerja banyak..jadi terubat jugak hati..why am i still writing about it??
because..i miss him :(
i wasn't ready..then again..will i ever be ready?? no?
ayah, i know you are still there..i know you are watching over me..over us..and i know you are proud to see how we are doing now..kat sini semua orang tau adik anak ayah :)..and each time they mentioned you..i was caught between a proud feeling of being your daughter..and sad because you are gone.
losing him was the most painful thing..

and when i ALMOST lost 2 of my bestfriends (different times of course)
when they ALMOST lost zaz..and the news spreads like fire that she's gone..
and now..zira is still fighting for life..
it pains me a lot..to think that i can never see you again..
and it's a reminder..on how i should appreciate..and show you that i do..

so here i am..
trying to tell each and every important people in my life..

family members, boyfriend, angels, chenta hatis and best friends...

that even though i don't see you often..you are always remembered..and appreciated.. thanx for making each day of my life colourful..and i could never ever afford to lose you..but it's all in HIS hands :)

oh..untuk orang2 yang pernah jadi kawan baik aku..tapi aku xde effort nak berbaik2 balik sebab kita bergaduh ke apa..terima kasih jugak..tapi hanya sampai di situ..sebab aku memang takde effort pun untuk berbaik dengan kau >:)

update: zira is showing more positive responses. her kidney is functioning, swelling of her body subsides, infection in her blood reduces, intestinal biopsy shows it's clean, and she's responding to her father's voice and move her hands..please keep praying :) 2 mate(s)

hello

welcome to ^my playground^'s new look..

oh so x-sedar-diri this perempuan..chapter 2 baru 6 pages..patut bincang ngn csv today..ade hati nak revamp blog..nanti lah sambung edit XD

update about zira: she's still unconcious..still using life support machine..but her condition is improving..her kidney starts to excrete water from her body and d water in her lungs are reducing..please keep praying for her~~
akak..hang in there..i know u r one tough cookie..u gonna be fine darl..sayang kau!

oh..1 more thing..Nurakmal Farhan@Apan..also from MRSM Jasin. my batch.. was involved with an accident yesterday..a hit n run..a few injuries but he's coping..sape2 nak pg visit dia kat hospital ampuan rahimah klang..

ok..
now back to chapter 2...

0 mate(s)

macam2 dugaan..

dengan kisah2 manusia berhati dengki dan tak ingat tuhan..aku hanya mampu berdoa memohon perlindungan dari Allah T_____T

dengan kerja banyak gileeee..nak kena siapkan chapter 2 secepat mungkin..and me being soooooooo pemalas is not helping T________T

dengan pagi2 buta semangat nak pergi office tapi battery dead lagi!!nasib baik ade 2 bdk undergrad comel nak pegi exam yang tlg bg pinjam bateri kereta..hopefully bdk2 tu tak trauma la kan...tsk tsk T__________T

dengan zira in i.c.u..dear frens please help pray for my dearest best friend, my akak, nur hazirah abdul rahman (homeroom O, 508, mrsm jasin spm 2003) d doctors suspected she's down with melioidosis..her body is not functioning well from the infection and she's currently on life support...so yeah..sangat merisaukan..plus she's in the i.c.u in effin' germany T_____________T
zira.me.amil. a day after my convo :(
akak..
please be strong and get well soon..
aku sayang kau!
please :(

semoga hati tabah menghadapi ujianNya..


0 mate(s)

balek rumah itu seronok

i am home :)
ok.perempuan tak sedar diri..banyak kerja tapi nak balik rumah jugak..pffftt~~~

balik rumah dengan alasan ye!
alasan pertama: dah lama x jumpa mama. dan dah lama x pergi kubur arwah ayah. 2 perkara yang paling menenangkan :)
alasan kedua: nak servis her0...kesian dia..sampai2 trus masuk klinik..
alasan ketiga: nak renew roadtax..oh...bulan nih birthday hero!!! ade sape2 nak buat party buih utk kereta i?? nak bg hadiah pun dialu2kan XD
alasan keempat: nak cabut gigi..ye..dah cabut pun tadi..pegi cabut wisdom tooth terakhir..so now saya dengan segala hormatnya dah tak ada wisdom tooth..habis dah..orang laen ade x tumbuh lagi..aku dah cabut empat2..oh..dem... T_T

ok..dah malas nak tulis..
nak tengok disney channel :p

:-h

..edited at 1935..happy 40th birthday >__<
so yeah XD
6 mate(s)

it's a secret


kalau berani mintak la password~

p/s- kudos tu errypha ku syg 3 mate(s)
i am

deactivating my internet activities

or may be just slowing it down a little A LOT!!!

i need to get on with my chapter 2

i'm disgusted at myself for procrastinating

so..

bubbye now

:-h
1 mate(s)
*warning.this is a very boyfriend-oriented entry*

sayang..
thank you very much...
...for all you did for me
...for all the 'sorry' you said when it's all my fault
...for loving me that much to keep going on..
i tau i byk susahkan you..
it was always about me..
i tau..u deserve better..
but when i ask why..and you simply say 'because i love you'
that's when i rasa mcm nak insaf..but we both know it's gonna happen again 2 days later..i'm a spoiled brat and you make it worst..and i love you for that :p
you make me wonder what's so special about me to deserve all this..
then i realized that you are the special one..sent to me
lucky me :)
i janji i tak buat lagi i berubah jadi lagi baik..i cuba..
sbb i sayang you..

4 mate(s)